who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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