No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
