Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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