if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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