I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
