Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
