That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize