I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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