Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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