My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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