it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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