So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i dont even know how to be here
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
