You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize