her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Randomize
