Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
