3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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