You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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