she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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