their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
