Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
