i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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