This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
