he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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