margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
