we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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