what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
