scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
