if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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