Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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