By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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