I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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