Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I believe in your delicious
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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