hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
whose ass print is on the piano?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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