remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
