I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
