My sheets look like a crime scene.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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