If that was your dad, he is hot
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
