susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Someone shattered a urinal.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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