At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
