You can't special order awesome
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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