I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
