i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
