Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
3pm strippers are depressing
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
