help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
it's like iHOP with fire
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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