Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
