I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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