That's intense
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
