I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
