Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
