it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
