it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Randomize
