You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
