Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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