You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
