i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
