No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
