Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
