Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
