It's Friday. Sex?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
