What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
