Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
