Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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