Plan B is the new Plan A
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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