apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
