its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
