she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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