i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
