I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
