And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
