why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
