I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
