omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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