i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
