Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize