I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
