C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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