quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
