I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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